To the father who didn't get to be.

My heart aches today. I have had several breakdowns throughout the day, because Mike can't celebrate today. I am very aware that one week from now should be the day that we are celebrating the birth of our child. If my perfect little dream had come true I could be either VERY VERY pregnant right now, or holding our newborn child. Today hurts more than other years, because as much as I want to be a Mom, I want to make Mike a father. He is the epitome of what a good Dad is. He deserves this. In the 3 short, blissful, amazing days we had to know about our child he was a doting Dad. He talked to his child, he loved his child's mom in a way that took my breath away. He put plans in place to ensure that any child of his would be loved, and know they were everything to him. So to the father who isn't today. This is for you.. 

There are no words for today. I ache to make you a father, and while we were so close, this day reminds me of how far we were. I am absolutely sure of one thing in this life, you were meant to be a Dad. Those 3 sweet days we had make want to hold on for our future. In the days that followed that awful day our dream ended and now YOU are what make me push through. You are the strongest man I know, and you amaze me with the selfless love you have. There is NO ONE in this world who is more proud of you, or loves you more that I do.
So for you, and only for you I will fight in the next couple months. I will endure any procedure, I will endure any shot, I will take it all, and fight to make this procedure a success because you my dear sweet handsome husband deserve to be a father. I am so blessed that in this life whatever child(ren) we may have. They get YOU as a Dad. Thank you for reminding me what we are fighting for, that you for constantly reassuring me, and for simply holding me while I cry. I can't promise that these next couple weeks are going to be a walk in the park, because they won't. I do promise you tell you how much I love you every single day, and hopefully 1 year from now we can celebrate your first official Father's Day!
I love you now and always,
Me

Happy Father's Day
Love, Brownie, Tiger, Ginger (and the best angel Daddy there is to PJ)