Nerves

7 days! My head doesn't seem to grasp that. In 7 short days I will load up in a car and head to a brand new city, that neither one of us has ever been, and navigate this crazy life of IVF. However, I think my heart has been ready for this for 6 years.

In January, we were told that IVF was my only option. I was devastated. I was crippled. I thought at the time this would never happen. Now, not only is it happening it is happening soon!

More than anything I think I am proud of the fact that through this whole journey is it has been Christ led. Every step, every decision, every aspect of this has been prayed over, and given over to Him. This is the only way for us.  We KNOW he is leading, he has taken the reigns and we are just dutifully following.

All that being said, I am scared. There have been days where I have had to pray every hour, sometimes every minute for God to take away the fear, and He has every time. I have calmed down, I have regrouped and tackled whatever it was in front of me.

The thought of IVF is daunting. The money is astronomical. The shots are painful. The risk of this all ending in my heart broken is debilitating. My nerves sometimes run away from me. This is where we are pleading for your help.

So many things have been thrown in our way to stop this from happening, but our God has overcome them in a way only He can. We have paid out of pocket for expenses we never saw coming. Just this morning I had to pay $3,314.49 for medicines I thought were going to be covered. We have begged, and borrowed, every dollar we could. Yet, we are still in need.

If you are able to donate, please do so in knowing that every single cent is going for this journey. We are still a bit ways away because of those surprise costs, but I know I serve a God bigger than money.

Will you also please pray with us. This journey has never been mine. It is all for a lesson coming from a teacher who knows the plan He has for us. Whether that lesson be good or bad. Pray my heart is ready to receive it. Pray for the needles to not seem so scary, the trip to be as relaxing as possible.

Lastly, pray for my sweet husband. He has had to endure quite a bit, and suffer silently. As a man, he takes the brunt of it all. He has no one to reach out to. He is the one that has to willingly inflect pain on me every single day, something that he swore to me he would never do,  all for a chance. He will have to drive 13 hours one way, sit in a hotel for 10 days essentially alone while I sleep. My heart hurts for him. Pray with me, give him strength in this, give his hands the precision they need for shots, and give him the strength to endure the next couple weeks.
*If you are reading this, YOU are the only one I would willingly do this with.* 

Good or bad in 7 days it is out of my hands. I will live my life knowing I have done everything I could. Again, if you can donate, please do. We really need you. Thank you for loving us.

Please use this link to donate:
A Donation for the Duncan's

Let's get started.

Hi Blog world! I apologize that I have been avoiding this post for weeks now!

We received an e-mail from our RE that says, "Officially IVF patients for September 2013."
I never knew one e-mail could excite you, and terrify you all in the same breath! It has begun! We have done all necessary appointments, and tests preparing for this, and now there is nothing else, but to start.
On Tuesday (August 6, 2013) we will have the last "meeting" (over the phone consultation) with the Dr. before we officially meet on surgery day. This weekend we will go and have 42(!!!) pages notarized to agree to treatment. No, that is not a typo, it really is 42! It's all really happening.

We have found a great hotel to stay in while we are in Chicago. I was always afraid that we would spend to much, or the hotel would be a rat's nest. It's not. We are a little ways out of the city, so it was cheaper, and it looks very decent from the pictures. The reviews are great, and we both feel comfortable with the amenities. Mike will essentially be by himself on surgery day 1 and 2, while my sole job is to REST REST REST! I wanted him to have SOMETHING to do, other than watch me sleep.

These next weeks are when the posts and information are going to be more scarce. There simply are not words adequate enough to express our gratitude, but we have to TRY and keep this close to us from here on out. Mike and I are humbled by the love from so many to help make this possible so we WILL update you, whether it be good news or bad come the right time. We know that our families and friends will all understand this.

Please be in prayer for us (me specifically). I have been struggling with accepting that this is it. Whether the outcome be good or bad, this will be the end of our Fertility Treatment journey. I have fought this battle for close to 6 years, and have experienced more pain that I would wish on my worst nightmare. I am ready to be off this train, and move on with life. Grasping that it all comes down to this is hard sometimes, but we believe that God has led us to this moment. He will not let us fall now.

ALSO: I wanted to share 2 incredible blog posts I have read this week. They are both friends from Twitter, and they have put words to this life of ours that I could never do justice for.

I Wanna Know What Love Is
Erin wrote this, and I couldn't agree more.

and the blog that made me cry for a solid 30 minutes?

Grace
So beautifully written and gives all of us a little validation in this cruel world.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. Sometimes I think I just need it.