4 Years

     4 years ago, I was preparing to walk down the aisle. All the bridal party was lined up, and the music was starting. I remember being so scared of the future. So scared I was going to loose who I was as a daughter, sister, and friend. I have never been more wrong in my life. December 15, 2007 was the beginning of my fairy tale. There have been heartaches along the way. There have been hard times, and honestly there have been times that I was almost positive that we weren't going to make it. Mike has never given up. Mike has always had hope for us. It's the same way that he feels about having a baby. Which makes today even more bitter sweet. 
     4 years ago I thought that in less than a year we would be parents and now looking at it, I have come to the realization that my plans don't always work. Same with our relationship, Mike has never lost faith. Mike believes more than I do that it will happen. 
He has been my pure motivation lately, I will make him a father, if it is the last thing I do. Mike is the very best thing that I have done in my life. The best thing I have ever done was say yes to our first date. Way back when, when Myspace was still popular I wrote this........

Current mood:blessed

I still can't get over the fact that it's all over!!!!!! 

The Wedding went absolutley perfect!!! I could not have asked for a better day. There were a couple problems, but I couldn't imagine it any other way... (It rained pretty much ALL day, my sister's dress ripped when she was walking down the aisle, the candles in the middle of the ceremony, kept falling) It just made us laugh and keep smiling. Of course I was oblivious to all of this till AFTER the wedding!!! The moment we lined up, everyone of the bridesmaids kept saying all this really sweet stuff, and I started getting emotional. 

Then the wedding started, and as soon as I locked eyes with Mike, I got so overwhelmed with emotions. In that moment I pictured everything we had been through, our first kiss, having to say goodbye when he left, the night he proposed, the day  he came home at the airport, watching him come up those escalators, to seeing him at his home-coming ceremony. It all came flooding back, in that one moment. I was the proudest woman in the planet. They were definitly tears of joy. A day that we had waited for for our whole life was finally happening. I could not tell you how happy I truly was. 

The reception was AMAZING!!! We danced all night, and I couldn't believe when they finally told us that the night was over.

The Westin Hotel, in Atlanta, was amazing, they did an outstanding job and decorated with roses and everything I was truly impressed, the next morning not only did we watch the sun rise, but we saw like 3 planes fly right over us which was really cool. 

Our Honeymmon, was perfect, we Drove to Myrtle Beach South Carolina, with Mike about to go Active Duty, the Army was hesitant about him flying out of the country, so we decided against it. (we are going somewhere for Valentine's day and I can't wait!!!!). When we got there we realized that it was REALLY cold. But it jsut gave us an excuse to snuggle, the hotel was beautiful, and our hotel over looked the ocean. So we watched the sun rise. We got to do so many things, and there was no wait in line!! LOL. Then Tuesday came around and we got some bad news that Mike's grandmother had passed away. So we decided to head home early. We left on Wednesday.The drive back was wonderful. Just getting to talk, and hold hands, without the stress of the wedding!!  But I couldn't have asked for something better. It truly was amazing!!! 

Now we are getting adjusted to each other's sleeping habits, enjoying life of  newlyweds. I am amazed that I wake up everymorning and my arms are wrapped up in my best friend. I go to sleep everynight, with him right beside me.

 I LOVE BEING MRS. DUNCAN!!!!!! 

Four Years later, it is still all true. We have been through so much and it has only made us better as people and as a couple. I am excited for the future with Mike. I am excited that he is still the one that I get to call my husband. I lay next to him every night and think how truly lucky I really am.

To my amazing husband, 

Thank you for being the man that I prayed so hard for, and for being everything I didn't know I would need. Thank you for loving me the way only you can. Thank you for showing me Christ. I had given up on love, I was ready to settle for something that was dark. Then you walked in. You changed how I look at life, you changed how I look at myself. I am so glad I will never have to go back to the person I used to be. In you I see forever. In you I see a wonderful man that I am unworthy of. I see a man that is going to give me a life of happiness. Thank you for being on this journey with me. Thank you for never loosing hope. Thank you for loving me only the way you can, and never trying to be more. "I'll love you forever."    

It's been a while.

WOW! I realized why I never blog... I am terrible at it! There has been a ton going on. First to update from the last post. The holidays did come, and go. I didn't get brave and make it into the "empty room" not enough courage. Hubby still says that we need to live it alone. But I refuse to live my life in the "what if" mode. We ate WAYYYY to much, and were able to spend some great time with our family. Hubby's brother got engaged to a wonderful woman over the holiday, which made me very excited!! There is nothing that I love more than a wedding! We spent some great time just at our house, and decorated for the holidays as much as we could. I dreaded this time, but it was so nice to be able to sit back and relax with my husband. Sending him back to work that sunday was hard, but we managed. We did go to the doctor and got the all clear to start trying WITH the clomid. So now just waiting on that stupid period to arrive. I actually am 3 days past what is supposed to be "28 days" so if it doesn't come by day 35 then I have to get a pregnancy test, and call to get the progesterone to make it come. I am not as hopeful as my dear sweet man is.

On Sunday we went to his unit Christmas party and had a great time! As much as I do not like how he is treated at that unit, it was nice to see him in his element. He lit up explaining different things to me, and how equipment works. I never ask questions regarding his job, because I know it is so dangerous, and frankly it scares me. Well he had to "disappear" for a little while. I was watching a young 9 yr old girl playing with her baby sister, who couldn't have been more than 3 or 4. While the parents were outside I watched the older girl start running around frantic looking for her mom and dad. Her shirt was covered in blood. So I got up and went running to get the parents. I got out the door way and felt myself starting to stumble, and I caught it then I felt my ankle roll and pop. Long story.... I had to be taken to the emergency room, and was told I have a torn tendon in my ankle and a tiny tiny tiny tiny break. So now I am in a walking boot for the next 4 weeks until it heals. Good job Marie! On top of all of that I can not drive for 4 weeks, so my father is having to take me places, and it's not that I mind, but
So that is all for right now. I am mending a hurt ankle. I am trying to remain hopeful for something that I am almost positive is not there. Thank you all for reading. Even though there are not many readers, I always feel better after posting.