Confused

This past week has been heart wrenching, confusing, and agonizing.
    The heart wrenching is really that, a very close friend went into the doctor with what she thought was indigestion at 25 weeks, and ended up having to deliver her baby boy and he sadly passed away just a short time later. My heart cried out for her. I was stuck with all these WHY questions. I was mad and angry at God for her. Frankly I still am pissed off. Someone who is as good and noble as she is, DOES not deserve that kind of pain. I am trying to be a really good friend to her right now, but still feel inadequate in the word department. She was so kind and sensitive about telling me privately about her pregnancy and making me understand that she was praying for me, and so I am returning the favor. I am praying constantly her. (I really hope you know that!! :-) I am sure you do!)
    The confusing is still what path God wants us on. We have made an appointment for June 14, to begin the IUI process. I am not sure where this will take us, or what it means, I just know that I can not experience one more Mother's day/Father's day being childless. We still have all the paper work with DFACS still submitted, we just have to attend the "classes" and have to have the therapy portion of the process. I have thought for a long time that I need therapy and some way to talk about all of it without judgement.
   Finally, the agonizing. My father has been diagnosed with the early stages of dementia, before it was just speculation, but now more and more I see the signs on his face. He was also confirmed to having mild strokes in his face. My father is the man I consistently lean on for strength. (Other than my husband of course). Seeing him literally loose his strength by the day has been challenging.
   I am doing the best I can to stay positive and to keep a "brave" face through it all and remain positive no matter what. Each day that proves harder than the last.