DYING

Ok... so maybe that is exaggerating just a little! 

However, this wait is excruciating. Every symptom is making me excited, and every pain is making me fear for the worst. I know of strong women who have had to do this 5 and 6 times, and all I can say is more power to them! This wait is unlike any other. I'm not sure why it's more intense, but each day I feel like the days are creeping by the closer we get to test date. 

My body has been doing some strange things, and I am trying to acknowledge it, but at the same time put it at the back of my mind. Things like: Yesterday, there was nothing that I could eat, that tasted right. Meals that I ate the night before; when I tried to eat it for lunch I was gagging. It was something about the texture. Snacks that I LOOOOOOVE I could barely eat. At dinner, meals that I like couldn't eat more than 2 or 3 bites. Everything just tasted weird. Today I am having massive hot flashes, and pains in my ovaries. Who knows, but I am continually praying over the whole situation. My prayer is just that God prepares my heart for what is happening. 

I need advice: The actual last day for our 2WW is this Sunday. I would have no problem testing on Sunday, and if it is bad just skipping church. BUT Sunday is the going away ceremony for a member of our church. I am in charge of handling the reception, and there is no way I cannot be there. Sunday is also an outing for our church that I have put together. Should I still test on Sunday, or hold off? I can't imagine testing on a workday and having to go through a whole work day grieving, or containing excitement to celebrate. My best friend said that she knows I need time to grieve or to celebrate. I couldn't agree more. But do I take a test in the afternoon, and risk it being wrong? There is no way that I can wait a another week....... WHAT TO DO??!!!?!?!!! 

Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated!